Enterprise day= day off :P

Well today is suppose to be this crappy enterprise day where the younger years have to make something and sell it in the afternoon and us the sixth form have to help them or do some bullshit. Every1 i think has decided to bake something so i was like hell no im not helping to make food with teenagers!
I'm quite pissed off with school tbh were so far behind in school its a joke were never gunna cover the syllabus b4 xmas and im getting stressed out about it. Teachers just keep finishing early or saying too much in class so we dont cover the content quick enough its starting to really annoy me. Especially coz i have this weird thing about time and punctuality. I flip out if things aren't done on time or ppl/things are late. Words cant describe how frustrated i get. Anyway they decide to have this enterprise day when were behind pfft. So today hopefully when ive finished replying to every1 on the web ill get some work done :P believe me this is more fun im kinda putting it off haha even tho ive just whinged about it .

I got an offer from uni yest i was so nervous logging onto track my god i thought it was a rejection but the university of east london wants me woop woop i think it might be a first choice but ill have to wait to see the other decisions from the others b4 i make my decisions tho. God im shitting it i dnt think i can decide which to go to. :/

Anyway the scales this morning said just under 45kgs. D: Ive been thinking and i really want to be 6st by xmas this iff i achieve it (haha) will be my ultimate lowest but i really want something to work towards i want to be in control again. I want to stop the bullshitting and be anorexic again. I just need to. On the news this morning i saw this article on if ur parents diet ur more likely to have an ED which shocked me a liitle idk but i just dont think that EDs work like that idk maybe its a kind of manifestation of things. Either way its painful to hear.
So i checked on the bbc news website to find the news story n more depth but i cnt find it but i did stumble across this.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/headroom/emotional_health/eating_disorders.shtml they have links to all different Ed things so check it out i ur interested. Theres a couple of vid clips they were really weird tbh with the want of a better word. They had this woman i think she was called Alex and she suffered from Anorexia she looked really normal and her life seemed quite straight forward normal like you would of never guessed her past. I just don't see myself as getting to that stage or even wanting to. I want to be thin i dnt think i want to recover and it not be a part of me coz its all i know. Idk god it so hard to explain.
xx