Pathetic, i reallly am. I want to rip off the skin on my body disect everything off me muscle, fat skin, blood, tissue. Just to be left with pure skin and bones. <3
I'm gunna look up body disorders i think i have one or just serious fucked up body image.
Zainab said to me today "i think the reason behind your depression is not anorexia but your dad". I don't know whether this is true or not i dont want it to be true coz hes a fucking arse hole. But what if he is? What if it is unresolved childhood conflict as Freud suggests? i dont know what makes me this sad. I dont know if i really want to know. I know though that (even though this probably doesnt make sense) it completes me it is what defines me as a person it is my personality me=these illnessess whatever ppl want to define them as. :/
We met Katy after school we went to costa and i binged. I think its coz im on my period and i have no motivation at the moment i'm alright for one day then the other im back binging. I AM NOT GOING TO START THE FAST/BINGE CYCLE AGAIN!
i just wanna be thin but i dont want the stuggle of getting there but i crave it sooo much.
Its just one of them crappy inbetween days.
*sigh*
Hi, i'm on PT as well hope you dont mind if i follow you? Sorry you had a bad day =[ everyone gets like that on their period though! xx
ReplyDeletenot at all the more the merrier :)
ReplyDeletethanks honey
xx