I think I've hit rock bottom
I feel so so shit I dont want to be here
:'(
I want to kill myself

ER

Sometimes I miss pretty thin and pretty alone...does anyone remember them? xxx

Would you really rush out? For me now?

Taut line
Down to the shoreline
The end of a blood line
The moon is a cold light...

I've had this blog from when I was seriously entrenched in Anorexia. From the depths of despair I've climbed this colossal mountain that is called "recovery". 2010 seems a lifetime ago but you should never forget every single day from your rock bottom to this present day. Every darkest hour has passed. And look at you now. Look at me now. I haven't cut in quite possibly over a year. I may still sleep with my blade next to me but I've learn to accept the moment, live it, breathe it, to just be, because I know for they are the moments that shape me. I am not perfect. Nor will I ever be or want to be. For those people like you, like me who are flawed in the most beautiful way possible. You think more deeply you have experienced tragedy and in some cases kissed death on the lips and surrendered. But look. Look at you now you are flawed by the battles you have won and with the armor u you adorn yourself with. You are you. You beautiful, blind sided fragile thing...


All my love,

ER
xx

I am human and I need to be loved...

i  just need someone to talk to
:"(

Together were gonna make history, Why would you wanna be else where? ...

If I didnt have depression I wouldn't be where I am now.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't have wanted to kill myself a million times over.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't have been so obessed with torturing my body with blades and burns.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't have wanted to starve myself or watch my body eat itself.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't have had a breakdown at uni.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't have quit uni.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't have applied again to run 200 miles away from home.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't hate my existence.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't have to live in this prison at uni.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't have no idea who the hell I was or who I wanted to be what job I wanted to fulfill.
...
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't have met the most amazing people.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't have learnt the important things I have in life.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't have fell in love.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't be able to make a difference to peoples lives with campaigning about depression awareness.
If I didn't have depression I wouldn't be where I am now.


All my love,
ER
xx