Friday, 9 November 2012

My bones ache, my skin feels cold And I'm getting so tired and so old The anger swells in my guts And I won't feel these slices and cuts...

I just feel not human. A zombie.
I feel like I get up just to sit on my arse all day on the computer coz there is nothing else to do here.
I'm so so tired. But I could sleep for days and days and not feel ready to wake up.
I still feel exhausted despite how many hours of sleep I get.
I feel horrible.
My hair, skin, my clothes. I just want to be free.
I hate this feeling.
My back hurts every single bone in my body aches.
I feel hungry but I've managed to gain :( fuck!
I just want it to end.
I want to open my eyes.
I want to feel awake.

ER
xx

9 comments:

  1. I want to open my eyes.
    I want to feel awake.

    That time will come, and it will be so worth the wait. I hate that tiredness, unfortunately I don't have the best remedies for it.
    Sounds like you might need some caffeine though ;]
    Love to you xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i live off diet coke so it cant be that :(
      idk what to do anymore ive lost my joire de vivre
      xx

      Delete
  2. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain, both physically and mentally
    Be gentle with yourself
    Take baby steps
    Try not to beat yourself up
    You are precious
    You are not alone
    You are loved x

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just stumbled on your blog :( I'm pretty new to the whole blogging world. I find it immensely relieving and yet heartbreaking at the same time to realize I am truly not alone. Where I live there is no one who understands or can relate whatsoever. At the moment this community is what is keeping me alive.

    You must be going through so much pain, love. And yet, you have lived so far this long fighting these demons. That makes you an amazing, courageous, strong, beautiful person with so much potential. I don't want to sound hypocritical though. At the moment I'm at a stage where I can't see much reason to live. But we will get there... I promise xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you for reaching out
      yes its a very safe beautiful place we have here its more like home than actual home :(
      together..ill hold you to that promise..
      :')
      much love
      xx

      Delete
    2. yes we'll hold each other too it :D keep fighting xx

      Delete
  4. aw, rose, i'm sorry you feel like this. i hope the sun rises for you soon and moves all of this darkness away. cheer up, love <3 take care of yourself, okay?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. let hope rise and darkness tremble...
      thank you
      much love honey
      xx

      Delete

I told you to be patient and I told you to be kind...