hearing my cry,
seeing my pain.
Monday i gets a call from YCED and they had a cancellation so i got my assessment yesterday at 10 :D
It was funny coz i juss text someone saying that i binged and purged and couldn't take this anymore *looking longingly at the knife drawer* when they rang. How amazing is that? Someone up there musta heard me and they aren't ready for me yet <3
Wednesday
So i got up super duper early and got the train and the bus to leeds I didnt think i was guna make it coz the bad weather delayed trains to Leeds but i got there without any problems surprisingly. Oh my mum came with me for "moral support" .
So yeh the assessment was with this young woman doctor/worker i cant for the life of me remember her name thats terrible isnt it?
She weighed me i ended up being 43kgs!!! FUCK where did 3kgs come from??? i hate them industrial scales they always make out im heavier than i am :''''( but i did keep my clothes on so max weight of the 1.5 kgs coz i wear a million layers but it still really upset me seeing that especially today i was just over 39kgs when i weighed myself this morning in my underwear so how does that work? (btw thats a genuine question if someone nos how to calibrate scales please let me know).
So yeh she asked me bwt my background and childhood, didnt tell her anything really even tho it was tough and full of dissapointment coz of him. Then we got onto eating n idk im used to ppl being shocked at how little i eat and how much control and shit i put myself thru but she didnt seem that phased by it. Ano i attention seek alot. I told her bwt some of my rules and just general stuff nothing as desperate as ive been i'm surprised normally i'm like a fountain or really defensive in these situations but idk i just didnt go into much detail really.
Shes guna send me the outcome of the assessment she thinks outpatients is best but i want IP but i really wanna do my a levels but yeh thats how it went.
Thanku Pretty desperate and Fluo for the suppport it means alot. Its so nice to think that some one cares and reads my blog <3 i tried to comment bk but my computer keeps crashing thats why i havent been on here much. Hope u guys are ok.
Over and out :)
xx
Thats amazing indeed :D aww I'm so happy for you! Did ya have your shoes on? cos they can add a lot, I found that out the hard way (: maybe try outpatient and see how ya get on,cos you don't want to miss your a levels. But if you feel outpatient isn't working then let them know you'd like to do inpatient (: Don't worry about commenting, I'm not too bothered by it, I'm more concerned bout how your doing.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best! Things are finally starting to look up :)
xxx
no i didnt she made me take my wellies off lol
ReplyDeleteyeh i was thinking OP but i think tbh i wud just get away with loosing more and more
thanku for ur concern dear altho dw bwt me nothing seems to be working despite my best efforts to fail at this life
thanks honey :)
xx