Progress?

I finally plucked up the courage to go back to counselling after a two week gap. I went home the first week but the second week I was really ill and I just didn't feel up to it. Anyway I went. I realised. I am.

Thinking of myself last year or 8 months ago is nothing to where I am now. Even though I don't consider myself cured I think I'm safe I am finally normal I don't have the need or desire to restrict to the point of no return neither do I have recurring thoughts of suicide. Now and again I have bad days granted really low days but I'm the survivor of my own story and you know what? It's taken me 4 and a half years to get to this point. Stability. I said, which she noted, that I have hope in the fact that I am stable but I still am hopeless in the way that I don't think there is any better than just ok.
let me take you back to September when I first came to uni. I was out of control, losing my virginity, self harmed and befriended a weirdo of the internet who subsequently stalked me.

 http://therearetwoofmenow.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/i-dont-think-i-could-hate-myself-more.html
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A year ago. I was working back home not really having any real hope except going to uni. Every day was a huge struggle sleeping hours on end just so I didn't have to be conscious.

http://therearetwoofmenow.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/i-see-you-not-satisfied.html
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can you see the difference? Or am I just imagining this?
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I have a busy week ahead so apologises if I'm absent. Charity event fri, working uni shop then waitressing sat, sun I'm going to a friends to do a shoot mon morning 7-9am then train home, working 26hrs back at my old job, then uni shop n waitressing again sat then waitressing sun. So as you can tell I'm busy working my arse off. :( It's better I keep busy rather than be here in this hell hole.

All my Love,
ER
xx