we've only just begun...

I haven't wrote here in ages.

I just need to get a few things out.

*wipes away tears*

I dont know what im living for...

I feel numb like this isnt reality im not where i want to be.

I have no job

 no money

 i have rags for clothes

 my family dont give a shit

 im a hypocrite

IM FAT

IM UGLY

I want to die

Like sooo bad whats the point of living when its just gunna continue i feel like am a broken record saying the same things feeling the same shit feeling wearing the same clothes

i wanna get off this perverse merry go round

Where the fuck are u?

I need saving saving from myself

Can you have a personality transplant coz i need to sign up please?

I've just researched karen carpenter

she died of anorexia

im so fucked up that i envy that

i wish it wud take me instead of traping me toying with me dragging me to the brink only to fling me back for more

entangling me in this spider web of despair deceit and misery

SPIDERS= a symbol of poison

isnt it ironic that anorexia feeds off me just like a spider???

xx