I dont want to do this anymore...

I can't stop crying.
Im so so depressed and sad all the time.
I dont know how long i can take much more of this.
Piling on the pounds,
Feeling miserable 97% of the time,
No friends,
No job,
No money,
Crap family,
No one cares or loves me FACT.

Researched suicide hotspots - closest 1 is humber bridge i wanna feel that falling feeling that i know im free and dont have to pretend anymore, get up and feel utter misery that im still living this shit life.

The book i was reading. Despite all Keith said it just made me more determined there is no way out except suicide.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/332256/Keith-Lane-Angel-of-Beachy-Head-Health-and-Safety-Stop-Order.html

I cut last night coz he didnt text me back and i look like a dick for texting him.

For the first time i actually couldn't do it properly it hurt i know its suppose to but all the other times i just felt totally numb. Last night i stopped half way thru ive even become fed up and exhausted that i cant even self harm right anymore. I want to see the blood trickling down my arm. To see that im real and not just a negative of a person. I feel like all there is to me is fat and saddness. Nothing else just illnessess. Does that make sense? Like i have no personality as i think about binging food suicide self loathing and not much else.
I want to binge on a toasted bagel and burn my self on the toaster in the process.
I DESERVE IT.
I hate myself.
Im a fucking waste of space.
I wish i was never born.