ADAM never text me he said he came back wednesday and that he'd text me but he hasn't.
My sister said there is more fish in the sea but what if i dont want those fish i just wanted him.
I dont think it matters like it needs to be him he needs to save me make me happy i mean like when am i going to find another him? he was sooo right u no? like wow! for the first time i thought finally i'd met my type who actually liked me back but obviously not. :''''(
Im sick of rejection i cant handle it its like something some piece inside of me crumbles its not like i have a loving family and friends to give me that unconditional positive regard its just me. Im sick of being alone.
Adam i really really need u right now. I just want ur arms around me. Someone to tell me why the fuck im still living.
Pathetic.
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Its raining really heavily here thunder and lighting. BEA-U-TiFUL!!!!
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I had my interview today not guna get it got another 1 tomorrow at a famous high st shop not gunna get that either competition is fierce and i have to lie and say i dunno if im goin uni i was so scared to tell her the truth. Oh and ive got an appt with my new social worker at 9 that shud b fun. Im just gunna say that i dnt need her help coz im gunna kill myself one way or another.
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Aeris off PA on tuesday cant fucking wait guna av a r8 catch up. Shes amazing i lovee her lotsee.
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well im guna do sit ups im aiming for 300/400 then paint my nails then self harm i haven't dun it in ages but i dnt care anymore i just want to punish myself for being a total waste of space and contemplate how ugly i am.
adios!
much love
ill blog tmoz at thee library opefully
xx
Hmm... he is not the first and won't be the last one.
ReplyDeleteYou remind me about myself, when I was a teenager 14 years old, then high school.
I thought that I am ugly, I hated myself. But I have changed people around me, met new one. Made new friends...
Started to be notice by men. :)
Everything will be just fine, just don't focus on a bad sides of life.
When there are some bad things around you, run away to your imaginary world in you head.
I used to do it. I had my dreamland in my head, It gave me a peace. :) I didn't care about people who were around me, I had my world, and my friends. :)
thanks hun ur words are encouraging but theres a nightmare in my hed like i dont want to be me at all
ReplyDeletei want peace happiness and joy so much yet i keep going round in this despair and misery :9
xx