Pretend it doesn't...

I went to London on Friday for the test hair and make up.It was good but it wasn't for what I was actually doing it was for a catwalk show for fall 13 not SS 13 so I wasn't pleased. The person messed me about saying travel expenses wasn't paid for which was too late as I'd already booked my ticket and then the following morning I had an email saying don't bother coming as we've found a local girl even when she knew I'd bought my tickets so in the end I went and the designer didn't even acknowledge me. Not until my make-up was applied and then she introduced herself. No thanks for coming all the way for modelling for her with no thanks or pay completely off my own back. To top things off her designer friend was emailing me wanting me or a friend to do another test shoot. No chance. I understand how models become so bitchy and depressed its ruthless and you don't get acknowledged or treated other than an inanimate object. You may as well be a mannequin.
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So I went to Brighton today to a Vintage fair was really shit. Rained all the way so vile. I love being near the sea but the weather made me feel awful so hopeless so miserable.
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I have a crush on a guy that works at a bar here. He has the most amazing smile. I don't wanna think about him but I can't stop! I don't wanna
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I have a job offer but its only for 5 hours on a Saturday I dunno whether is worth it it means I cant go home because I'll have a job. I miss my dog and niece too much. but I need the money. I am so torn atm :(

All my love,
ER
xx