Every time...

Come right this way, ride this way.
Follow, I promise you'll be okay.
Come this way.

Be that way. Be that way.
Want you, I need you to be okay.
But do they know?

No, I'm farther down!
Oh you're farther down!
No, I'm trapped.
Oh, you're trapped.

With every time I see you, I want to sail away.
With every time I see you, I want to sail away.

Through the night.
Black sounds great.
I know it'll be okay.
Just come this way.

Your feet on the dash.
Brake; we crash.
See you go flying out into the night.
Forever is past.

Do they bother down?
Oh, do they bother now?
Oooh you're trapped!
Oh, you're trapped.

With everytime I see you, I want to sail away.
With everytime I see you, I want to sail away.
The lights won't bridge the gap through their holiday.
With everytime I see you, I want to sail away.
Just sail away.

everytime.. now
everytime.. now
anytime..anytime
everytime.. now


With every time I see you, I want to sail away
With every time I see you, I want to sail away
The light won't bridge the gap through their holiday
With every time I see you, I want to sail away
Just sail away

Following my hectic weekend this week has been fairly subdued well for the most part I'm working my arse off more than ever not in the literal sense wouldn't that be better than the metaphorical? Whenever I get somewhere with it there's just another load of work to be done in its place. I think that's the same in the rest of my life with feelings, I just get over one lot of feelings and then BAM another set comes and with guys or friends or some problem its always unsafe to think you're out of the woods when you totally aren't your so far into the woods you are completely lost you know?, 
....
In counselling I think I'm making progress however small. I trust her and I know I can go and just be me I am dissociative I wont dare and wont ever look her in the eye I just cant. I don't know why I cant maybe its because it will be awkward then, then there will be a connection between me and what I am saying and I don't want that when I say things it should be a catharsis and not something I want to hold on to. Like a confessional I suppose. 
...
My eating is ok atm I'm at a normal weight its still underweight but something always brings me back like I managed to follow an anorexic girl down a shopping isle just focusing on her legs how fucking brilliantly skinny they were. I dont want to let go of thin but at the same time my body is saying yes. Eat 6 packets of crisps eat as much as you like because you're fat now and I'm never gunna let you go thin again.
...
I have another job interview. I cant mentally think about anything atm I think I am so fed up I cant function. Literally don't have the will to do anything.

make up and hair test

I love to be in this sadness and I will definitely let it kill me.

ER
xx