I met C yesterday and everything just went wrong one minute I was laughing and joking with him the next I was crying on my bed curled up not wanting to look at him or him to even touch me.
He scares me. How much he's like my therapist. Right now I don't want to see him again. It freaks me out how similar they are. All that love, the commitment, the texts for nothing. A couple days ago I was like I could never ever live without him now I just don't want him any where near me.
I'm gunna spend all day in bed today. I cant face the world.
:(
I think I'm relapsing I know I'm quite thin no where near thin enough. I haven't fucking got an scales I need to get some!!!.
I need cheering up.
The guy I sept with, Jamie he's called I think is embarrassed and ashamed he slept with me. He said he was in Portsmouth yest but I cud of sworn i heard him in the common room yest and he was ignoring me. I hate life. I'm ugly He'll think so too.
I hate myself and I want to die..
All my love,
ER
xx
Oh honey.. :( I feel for you<3
ReplyDeleteAll my love and hugs xx