AAnnnd it feeeels like jealousy...

I want a life.
With Money, great job, amazing family and friends, a social life, most importantly a life free from this depression.
I know i dont deserve any of this or am ever guna achieve happiness.
Remind me why i'm still here?
...
Leeds today. I hope she doesnt weigh me even if she wants too i'm guna refuse. I'm not guna let her read my food diary. It's so shameful. I hate it.
...
Got my samaritans interview today lets hope i can be a listening volunteer. I'm not sure if i could help someone without giving them direct advice tho gunna b tricky.
...
My mum keeps buying me food that i love. She can see the pain in my face.. the distant look where i just cant stand to be here. She knows i'm depressed.Work is taking its toll. I did leilas shift 8-2 then my shift 5-8 im soo exhausted but the sun is shining ffs so i cant sleep. :/ Plus i keep crying and hearing that fucking self scan woman
"Please put your items in the bagging area" "insert cash or select pay with card" "key in code or look up item" arggh shes haunting me !!! haha

xx