Long time no speak...

If anyone cares...
Sorry i havent been on had MAJOR exam stress. Think I've failed them all :( I didn't want to get distracted on here and PT and PA so I went away for a while....
But I'm back (ano i hear you groan) and I'm more determined than ever.
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I've gained 5kgs of awful FAT I just feel so ashamed it didn't help me concentrate or feel better about myself it was just a ploy to help me channel my stress of exams through eating which, hell i liked and boy did i eat alot. I could feel all my clothes were bulgy and clingy it wasnt nice it made me feel so worthless and a cheater.
I've started fasting now down to 43kgs this morning but its a far cry from 39kgs b4 xams thats my goal for now get back to 39kgs i was so happy back then n I will be back there!.
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So whats new?
nothing much same old same old I think I've actually got more isolated and shut off in my own world. I just need to become a person I can like and this isn't me atm. I've started my new year again and i've made a list of a new year plan and aspirations that i hope 2011 will fulfill. So i gotta concentrate on making those happen :)
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My sister is pregnant! Its a disaster honestly i cant stand kids so glad hopefully ill be at uni so i wont be around her or her baby. Shes keeping it even tho she hasn't got a house of her own, no job, no career, no money and no Bf. Good luck to her is all i can say but its not my decision and i have no right to say whats right and wrong i would actually go mad in that situation.
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It's my other sisters birthday on sat shes 30 and were going out round Manchester so i'm really excited about that but its gunna be cold and rainy and its guna be awkward with all of us together. I hope i bag myself a cheeky 'un to av a dance with ;)
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Whats really depressing me atm I wrote bwt Alex previously b4 xmas n after xmas after we came back to school i started to see him with his girlfriend. It breaks my heart everytime i see them together happy yet im not still stuck in the same old ways with the ame shit life while hes happy. It really really makes me sad im even filling up now just writing about him.
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right well i best get off i need to buy my sister a present plus im on the library computer so i only have 23 mins left. I need to catch up on all ur blogs and dw i will do ive missed reading about your lives so much! lol
i sound like a right creeper :P
xx