Tainted love...

Adam = deleted
sick of rejection and ignorance end of                .
...
I have an app for OP at leeds finally on the 11th aug so im not going to eat in august except when i absolutely have to even then it will be veg or fruit i promise :)
need to loose 7kgs + in 11days
...
Went to michelles birthday meal last night was a bit of a nightmare not michelle tho shes lovely just sophie she spoiled it a bit just the fact that shes got so much in her life atm and tbh im envious. I dnt really like her when shes in a crowd well around others coz she just acts up if u get me like has to be centre of attention? I just wanted to have a proper conversation with her and actually listen to what ive got to say. Pretty much came away bummed out. I'm on a downer really bad like i just want to never switch my phone on or have to stare at a blank screen again. SICK of life.
cant stand being around ppl atm social withdrawal oui
...
T'other day i burnt myself on the toaster

I love/hate my scars...
My pain is real...?!!?
xx

Example Ft Ed Sheeran - Nandos Skank (aka the best song in the world)

Enjoy!!!
haha i was on the floor when i heard this
greg looks like him well not ginger but he looks like him sooo much
even tho ive never been to nandos in my life its such a funny song
<3
xx

The Kooks 'The Saboteur'

i love luke <3
cnt wait forr the new album
xx

You're the best thing i never had...

Thee whole Adam situation is a bit umm well non existent to be frank. I know he doesn't like me i like him more. I think ive done it again. Found a guy that is not interested in me whatsoever! I'm finding it hard to cope. When things go tits up i binge and i have. I walked for 5 hrs today just to get hme bwt 4 and binge. Worst thing i'm not even hungry i just want to destroy myself make me look awful to mirror the awfulness inside...maybe.
I can feel the depression comin over me. My eyes are welling up.
I told my mum that i was going to be outpatients at leeds and she was dissapointed said she couldnt afford to pay for me to go. I ended up in tears. I had to ring Claire told her bwt that i cant pay for the train and bus even tho ill be re-embursed.
Argh i just feel like my life one minute is going ok then the next i have absolutely nothing left nothing to keep me sane and to make me live.
Sometimes i just wanna go to sleep like for a month. Just to be unconscious from all the dissapointment and saddness.
xx

Perspectives...

"It would take 96 BILLION to bail out Greece again.

Yet it would only take 1 BILLION to sort out the famine in Somalia."

I Know which one i'd go for.

xx

In this deep shame my tears dry on their own...



Englishrose-aroseamongstthorns.blogspot.com

 This note was given to me by Amy Winehouse.
We used to get to know famous ppl back in the day. Long story, I try not to talk about it coz it brings me dissapointment even though those years were the happiest of my life.
Isn't it weird that shes wrote that when I actually dont he walks away at every oppourtunity. I hate him.
People aren't what they seem.
Well cut to the chase what I'm really trying to say is it should of been me that died yesterday not her. Her dad loves and cares for her Yet shes gone.
It just should have been me.


xx

Love is a loosing game...

R.I.P A.W
...
I have 3 reasons to be here..

1. Hold my neice for the first time, see her face and help my sister give birth.
2. See my A Level results I want to know what i got whether the fight was worth it.
3. Experience some of my University course.

I'm guna remind myself of these every time i waver, every minute of every day to make sure i dont get caught up in the spiral again. Until 6th November*
Thanks zoe and farrah it REALLY means alot xx <3
...
I'm on a 12day fast.
Going ok lost 2kgs need to do better but its sooo hard especially with my mum breathing down my neck asking bwt food and what I've eaten.
I hate lying I hate throwing/hiding food away.
I'm sorry.
xx