I shouldn't be here...

50 reasons why I should commit suicide...

1. I don't think I am living for myself any more
2. I think about it everyday
3. Medication does nothing
4. I don't remember what happy feels like
5. I blame others for my own mistakes
6. It's unexplainable
7. Crying myself to sleep
8. Telling someone and then instantly regretting it
9. people joking about suicide
10. When people say they care but actually don't
11. "so much to live for" "so much you'll never get to do"
12. The fear of failing
13. Losing weight to leave a skinny corpse
14. Happy people are triggering
15. Being so bored all the time because nothing is interesting anymore
16. Being suicidal for so long no one takes me seriously any more
17. When I've been institutionalized and need to go back because that's the only safe place
18. No one understands
19. Get's better? only 10 x worse
20. I want someone to save me
21. Everyone would be better off if I was dead
22. No one knows how much effort it takes just to stay alive
23. The loss of hope
24. Continually being hurt by people
25. I am nothing
26. I hate everything about me
27. Everyone treats me like shit
28. I am lonely
29. Excessive desire to stay in bed
30. I trust all the wrong people and never trust the right ones
31. I am boring. I have nothing valuable to say
32. I want to hurt myself
33. Lying awake at night thinking.
34. The internet gives me more comfort than real life
35. Sitting alone in the dark
36. Always looking for ways to kill myself
37. Wishing every minute that I was dead
38. Wanting to be a victim of a murder
39. Being fascinated by peoples "stories"
40. Having no one you can call a friend
41. Being ashamed of depression
42. Relentless sadness
43. Washing becomes a chore
44. Broken family
45. Panic attacks
46. The devil
47. If became when
48. Being pathetic and crying all the time
49. The scars mentally and physically
50. Little things can put me on a downer for a day/month/week

I shouldn't be here.

ER
xx